- I'm a wedding planner who's seen couples make some common mistakes ahead of their big day.
- Set your RSVP deadline a week before you need a headcount to avoid a last-minute scramble.
- Don't blow your entire budget on the venue, and make sure to get your wedding license in time.
As a wedding planner who's organized over 50 ceremonies, I know that every choice you make for your big day can feel like a mistake. Everybody has an opinion, and sometimes, nobody is happy.
So here are 10 actual mistakes I see couples often make, plus my advice on how to avoid them.
If you set the RSVP date too late, you may feel added pressure
You're always going to have to track down late RSVPs, so save yourself a last-minute scramble and set the due date at least one week before you actually need the final headcount.
You'll likely need to get that number to your caterer or venue about two weeks before your wedding, so that extra time will give you a much-needed buffer.
Make sure to eat on your big day
Caught up in the whirl of their wedding day, many couples forget to feed themselves.
So task a wedding VIP with the goal of bringing you a meal, ideally before you finish getting ready.
Don't forget to thank your vendors
Whether it's a generous tip, kind word at the end of the party, or glowing online review — please thank your vendors.
Wedding vendors work long hours sometimes for low pay because they want to serve couples. Many of us live for your thank yous.
You may regret drinking too much the day before
Although wedding planning can drive many people to drink, avoid overdoing it in the days before the wedding.
Your body — and your wedding photos — will thank you.
Don't blow your budget by booking a venue first
Couples often rush into booking a venue only to realize they've just spent their entire budget, so it's crucial to know what you both want to prioritize.
Talk to your partner about why you two are getting married in the first place, and use these answers to develop the mission statement of your wedding. Only then should you start putting down deposits.
Get your marriage license in advance
Even though starting a legal marriage is technically the reason everyone is gathered, many couples forget to apply for a license.
Get this date on your calendar early and keep an eye out for any pre-wedding waiting periods required by the location you're getting married.
There's no need to beat yourself up over requesting things that matter to you
Especially over the course of the pandemic, many couples feel guilty or shameful about setting boundaries that matter to them, such as requiring all in-person guests and vendors to be vaccinated.
Setting boundaries can be emotionally complicated, but I encourage you and your partner to remember that you are the hosts of this event, so you get to make the rules.
Couples often rush through the ceremony
Many couples tell me they only want a 10-minute ceremony, which is such a shame since that's what makes your wedding more than just an overpriced party.
Instead of bypassing it, focus on how you two want to feel as you start your marriage and the ways you can reflect that in your ceremony. You'll be surprised by how little time that adds to the whole day.
The people who financially support your wedding will likely want a say
Be thoughtful of who's on "the board" — the people who financially contribute to the event — of your wedding.
There's no shame in accepting money as long as you and your partner recognize that person gets a vote. If that mindset doesn't work for you, revisit your mission statement and determine how you can accomplish that goal with less money.
Don't start your marriage on autopilot
Planning a wedding can quickly become overwhelming, and many people will shut down.
If you feel this happening, take a break. The last thing you want is to be a zombie as you start your marriage.